Don’t know why I said goodbye, I say hello

7 05 2012

So it’s been awhile.

There was grading and headaches and a cold and the second job and a shitty mood and oh oh oh so much anxiety about. . . grading and headaches and a cold and the second job and a shitty mood. . . and you can see where this goes.

I was twisting the screw of the vice grips.

C. helped me untwist it and, without a recap of that conversation in which I went over and over what was wrong I can tell you that she said, patiently and firmly and repeatedly: You have to quit that job.

And so I quit that job—well, put in my notice; I’m done at the end of May.

It took almost two days after for me to unwind, for my chest to stopped feeling squeezed and for me to take a breath without having to remind myself to breathe.

It was the right decision, although I feel badly about it; I feel badly about it, although it was the right decision.

It just wasn’t the right job.


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2 responses

7 05 2012
dmf

glad you have some local untwisting kind of help at hand and that you are giving yourself a break before you got broken.

8 05 2012
absurdbeats

Thanks for that, dmf. I worried over quitting this job—last year’s financial disaster is imprinted on me—but at some point the cost was more than the paycheck.

And hey, drop me a line, let me know how you’re doing. . . .

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