It’s been almost 4 months.
I teared up when I typed that.
You see, while I can talk about her life, I cannot talk about her death without tears.
I know she’s no longer here, but it is an outer knowledge, something I keep away from me.
I have to make room for her, all of her, in me. Life and death and everything.
If I want to be able to remember without tears, then I have to bring her back in, even with the tears.
‘Just a cat’, I know.
But oh, how I miss that cat!
AbsurdBeats 
Not “just a cat.” A someone you loved, clearly very deeply, who loved you back — I’m guessing pretty deeply.
Sometimes assimilating the death of those we love means making peace with the tears that course down our cheeks.
Not just a cat, and if you anyone tells you different, walk away. What a beautiful girl she was!
Thanks, Emily.
(And I guess we should thank Ta-Nahisi, too, since I found you on his blog!)
You’re very welcome. I lost some pretty awesome dogs in my life, and I know what you’re talking about….
But oh man, you are so much braver than me! I don’t go into my own comments section to comment — it scares me that I’ll get into a fight some day.
I was just telling my husband that “hey, this commenter sounds like someone I should know, but I don’t think I do…!”
TNC! Of course!
You’re very welcome. I lost some pretty awesome dogs in my life, and I know what you’re talking about….
But oh man, you are so much braver than me! I don’t go into my own comments section to comment — it scares me that I’ll get into a fight some day.
I was just telling my husband that “hey, this commenter sounds like someone I should know, but I don’t think I do…!” TNC! Of course!
I really like this place. I’ll be back!