I dunnae understannit.
A month or so ago I was feeling fine—no anxiety, no dread—even though I knew I needed to pick up more work.
And then I picked up more work, so: mo’ better good!
But in the last coupla’ weeks, I’ve had this tight weight pressing down upon and squeezing my sternum.
That’s not what I don’t get: I know exactly why my torso is collapsing, as well as how to heave that ho offa me.
No, what I don’t get is why I don’t do what I need to do. It ain’t much—a bit of paperwork, an e-mail, maybe a phone call—but I don’t do it. Fifteen, thirty minutes, and I’m done. But I don’t do it.
I don’t do it.
Criminy.
AbsurdBeats 
Is that the correct spelling of crimony? Criminy? Crimany?
Reblogged this on cftc10.
sometimes the pull of the undertow can just wear away at the edges, the worn grooves of routine, especially chores. It’s a subtle devil at times practicing a bit of drip by drop erosion.
@BJ: That’s my spelling, and I’m sticking to it.
@dmf: I’ve figured out how to deal with the habitual irritations; it’s the novel ones which throw me off.
[…] human being. It’d be one thing if the whirlwind approach didn’t bother me, but those small to-dos just grow and grow and grow in the middle of my chest* until they crack my ribs and leave me panting for air. I am so anxious about dealing with the […]
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