I liked Charlie Pierce’s suggestion for the State of the Union address (even if it was missing a “boot in the ass” reference)—and for about half of the speech, it kinda followed that spirit.
Unfortunately, there was the other half. Not that it was bad, but Fata Morgana did it go on and on and on. At one point I thought This is like that last Lord of the Rings movie, with ending after ending after ending.
Shorter. Shorter shorter shorter. Almost no one ever complains that a speech is too short, and those who do, are wrong.
Update: And then, of course, there’s this: