AbsurdBeats

I mentioned earlier an infected, broken tooth—which both infection and tooth were dealt with on Monday.

Which is good. And I’m neither in pain nor allergic to the antibiotic, which is also good.

I did notice something, though. When I went outside prior to the oral surgery, I was incredibly fucking conscious of how misshapen my face was. It was not just embarrassing, it felt like I had done something wrong, and everyone could see I had done something wrong.

I mean, by Sunday (I didn’t leave the apt)  I looked like this:

And no, that bulge in the cheek and neck is not a normal look for me.

Walking home after the surgery, however, I wasn’t the least self-conscious.

True, I was still groggy from the anesthesia, so wasn’t conscious of much beyond “one foot, then other foot, then that first foot”, so maybe that’s not the best example, but even later that day, when I went down to Target to pick up the antibiotic, I knew I looked like hell and I didn’t really care.

Okay, again, I was reaaaaalllllllllyyyyy tired and in some pain, so probably also not the best example.

BUT I HAVE A POINT HERE, somewhere, if not a point, exactly, then certainly an observation: being all swollen pre-op seemed shameful, but the post-op swollen-ness (which on Monday and into Tuesday, when I went back for a checkup, was just as bad) was just sorta, “yep, looks bad”.

So, to recap (not that that’s necessary but indulge me, wouldja?): Looking like a lopsided chipmunk due to illness? NASTY! Looking like a lopsided chipmunk due to oral surgery? Eh.

That’s some fucked-up level of moral reaction to an infected tooth, and its treatment.