American idiot

16 02 2012

This just passed the Virginia House of Delegates by a vote of 66-32:

HOUSE BILL NO. 1 Offered January 11, 2012Prefiled November 21, 2011A BILL to construe the word “person” under Virginia law, including but not limited to § 8.01-50 of the Code of Virginia, to include unborn children.

———-Patrons– Marshall, R.G. and Cline; Senators: Colgan and Garrett———-Referred to Committee for Courts of Justice———-Be it enacted by the General Assembly of Virginia:

1.  § 1. The life of each human being begins at conception.

§ 2. Unborn children have protectable interests in life, health, and well-being.

§ 3. The natural parents of unborn children have protectable interests in the life, health, and well-being of their unborn child.

§ 4. The laws of this Commonwealth shall be interpreted and construed to acknowledge on behalf of the unborn child at every stage of development all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this Commonwealth, subject only to the Constitution of the United States and decisional interpretations thereof by the United States Supreme Court and specific provisions to the contrary in the statutes and constitution of this Commonwealth.

§ 5. As used in this section, the term “unborn children” or “unborn child” shall include any unborn child or children or the offspring of human beings from the moment of conception until birth at every stage of biological development.

§ 6. Nothing in this section shall be interpreted as creating a cause of action against a woman for indirectly harming her unborn child by failing to properly care for herself or by failing to follow any particular program of prenatal care.

§ 7. Nothing in this section shall be interpreted as affecting lawful assisted conception.

§ 8. Nothing in this section shall be interpreted as affecting lawful contraception.

That’s right: the proposed amendment protecting contraception was stripped out of the final bill.

As for “affecting lawful assisted conception”, does Delegate Robert G. Marshall know that the process of culturing, testing, freezing, and thawing embryos carries the non-negligible risk of embryo death? Or that this bill would require those who created the embryos in vitro either to transfer said embryos to a willing woman or to keep them in a deep freeze forever?

Does he know that as of 2009 Virginia contained 12 fertility clinics, which performed over 2000 cycles using fresh non-donor eggs? Is he aware that many, many more than 2000 fertilized eggs were transferred which never took? Is he aware that during these IVF cycles that many eggs were fertilized that never developed beyond a few cleavage stages—that is, that these eggs died in the dish?

Maybe he does, and he just doesn’t care.

But no, let’s not give him the benefit of the doubt—especially since he couldn’t be bothered to agree to the contraception-protection amendment—and let’s denounce his double-idiocy. Why double?

1. He does not understand conception.

To begin with, fertilization is a process, not a single event. The zygote is not formed until the last stage of fertilization, that is, after the sperm has penetrated into the ooplasm it takes some time before the 23 pairs of chromosomes are sorted and arranged. Furthermore, the early pregnancy factor protein—the presence of which in the first 10 days after fertilization indicates a pregnancy—is not secreted into the woman’s bloodstream until 24-48 hours post-fertilization.

And of course, pregnancy is not considered to have begun until 6 days or so post-fertilization, when the blastocyst attaches itself to the endometrium epithelium of the uterine wall.

Given that neither Marshall nor any of the rest of the 65 delegates could be bothered even to define what is “conception”—is it that magic moment when a single sperm pushes its way through the zona pellucida surrounded the ooplasm? after the formation of the two pronuclei? the fusion of said pronuclei?—-it’s easy to conclude they don’t give a damn about biological reality.

Which matters because it is the biological reality that 60-80 percent of all fertilized eggs will never result in a live birth, which in turn would indicate that “nature” or “biology” doesn’t give a damn about Marshall’s definition of personhood.

2. This biological reality also matters because these majority of failed fertilizations could potential open a woman up to legal liability.

Yes, the bill states that “Nothing in this section shall be interpreted as creating a cause of action against a woman for indirectly harming her unborn child by failing to properly care for herself or by failing to follow any particular program of prenatal care” —but it doesn’t prevent such creation, either. In other words, the legislators, in attempting to get around the legal reality that it would be impossible to investigate every single instance of failed fertilization, nonetheless leave open the possibility (via § 4) that a woman could be held liable.

Admittedly, I could be reaching here, but it does seem as if sections 4 and 6 are in potential conflict with one another, and it is by no means certain how a court would resolve such a conflict.

More to the point, this is a piece of bullshit boilerplate designed both to get the state off the hook for not providing adequate prenatal care to poor and uninsured women and to reinforce the notion that women aren’t responsible enough to make decisions about their own health.

And, of course, this bill leaves the status of in vitro-created zygotes in limbo: what happens if they don’t develop? Could clinicians be held liable?

Who knows. Answers to these questions would require some recognition of the messiness and complexity of human life, something which these reality-challenged delegates are clearly unable to do.

The bill now goes to the Senate.





Still enough time to figure out how to chase my blues away

13 02 2012

Whitney Houston helped create a sweet moment in the West Village.

It was a couple of years ago at a Pride parade, near the end of the route, and the crowd was trying not to wilt beneath a high sun. We were near the end of the route, in the Village, there had been a long delay, and the paraders were halted in the street.

Finally, the line began moving, and the floats with the grinding men and booming music renewed their pulse past us. At one point, a float playing this song motored through.

I’m not now nor have I ever been much of a Whitney fan—too slick, too poppy, too produced—but on that one day, this sweet confection made me grin.

As the float floated past and the music floated away, the crowd took over the chorus, and all of us lined on both sides of the streets serenaded one another, Oh, I want to dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me.

A perfect moment in a parade for people who had long been told not to love. Here we all were, claiming that song, that love, for ourselves.

Thank you, Whitney.





Elementary penguin singing Hare Krisna

11 02 2012

With majority rules there is no need for minority civil rights because minorities have the same God-given Constitutional natural rights as the majority—except for those at the very tippy-top, who are discriminated against.

People, I give you the wisdom of former game show host Chuck Woolery:

Woolery is promoting “Reset Congress,” a project that he outlines on his web site, “Save Us Chuck Woolery”. He, too, slammed the Prop 8 ruling, and said gays don’t need civil rights. In fact, he believes African-Americans need no civil rights.

“Majority rules,” he said, dismissing the idea that minorities need protections. “We were born with natural rights. We don’t need civil rights. [African-Americans] don’t need civil rights. They don’t need them. They have inalienable rights granted by God in the Constitution. I mean, I’m discriminated against all the time. I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me. [I’m discriminated against] because I’m old. I’m too old to get a job as a game show host. They say, well, the guy’s 71 and in five years he’ll be 76. And I’m a one per center, and I’m absolutely discriminated against as a one per center.”

I am the victim! Me me m-fucking-e me! It’s no fair that I don’t get all of the rights!

~~~

*Update: Yet another bit of stunning insight, this time from Representative Allen West:

“We [conservatives] also realize that the public good is a misnomer, created by our liberal friends,” he said. “It is not the public good that matters, it is the personal good.”

That’s right, a fucking REPUBLICAN states the public good doesn’t matter.

It’s almost as if West doesn’t know the historical meaning  of “republican”.

h/t Michelangelo Signorile; Luke Johnson, both at the Huffington Post





We’re on a road to nowhere

9 02 2012

President Obama’s campaign playlist is out; it is, unsurprisingly, unexciting.

I’ve already made known that were I ever to run for office, my campaign theme would be “Life During Wartime”—This ain’t no party/This ain’t no disco/This ain’t no fooling around—which may go a long way toward explaining why I will never be elected to anything.

More fun than coming up with campaign song-lists, however, is considering anti-campaign songs: all those tunes which would doom any possibility of election.

Some suggestions:

  • Radiohead, “Creep”
  • Beck, “Loser”
  • Beth Orton, “Devil Is My Angel”
  • REM, “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)”
  • Talking Heads, “Road to Nowhere”
  • Talking Heads, “Psycho Killer”
  • Be Good Tanyas (Townes Van Zandt): “Waiting Around to Die”
  • Mission of Burma, “That’s When I Reach For My Revolver”
  • Velvet Underground, “Heroin”
  • Bjork, “Army of Me”
  • Birthday Party, “Release the Bats”
  • Any song by Serge Gainsbourg
  • Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, “Papa Won’t Leave You, Henry” (Terrifying. . .)
  • Smiths, “Unhappy Birthday”
  • Wilco, “I Am Trying to Break Your Heart”
  • Butthole Surfers, “Pepper”
  • Bruce Springsteen, “Atlantic City”
  • Bob Marley, “I Shot the Sheriff”
  • Thee Headcoatees, “Don’t Want to Hold Your Hand”
  • Bruce Cockburn, “If I Had A Rocket Launcher”
  • Loretta Lynn, “The Pill” (Sigh. . . )
  • B-52’s, “Dance This Mess Around”
  • B-52’s, “Hot Pants Explosion” (Just because)
  • Dead Kennedys, “Let’s Lynch the Landlord”
  • Nina Simone, “Mississippi Goddamn”
  • Rolling Stones, “Shattered”
  • Semisonic, “Closing Time”
  • X, “See How We Are”
  • X, “Hungry Wolf”
  • XTC, “Dear God”
  • Sam Roberts, “Where Have All the Good People Gone”
  • Christine Fellows, “Roadkill”
  • Violent Femmes, “Kiss Off”

This could go on and on—feel free to drop your own suggestions.

Anyway, it would be awesome if someone were willing to use any of these songs—now that person would be someone I’d want to have a beer with.





Come together, right now

8 02 2012

With all apologies to morons, Representative Louis Gohmert is a moron:

“The court, as I understand it today, struck down a law that said marriage is between a man and a woman. It’s interesting that there are some courts in America where the judges have become so wise in their own eyes that they know better than nature or nature’s God,” Gohmert said on the House floor.

“Nature seemed to like the idea of an egg and a sperm coming together because of pro-creation,” he continued. Drawing a parallel to Iowa Supreme Court justices who ruled in favor of same-sex marriage in 2009, he said, “Apparently they thought the sperm had far better use some other way biologically, combining it with something else.”

If nature really wanted sperm and eggs to come together, why keep ’em so far apart in the first place?

In any case, given that as few as twenty percent of all fertilized eggs result in a live birth, nature may want sperm and egg to play together, but not stay together.

h/t Jennifer Bendery, Huffington Post





Just you shut your mouth

7 02 2012

Planned Parenthood! Susan G. Komen! Abortion! Breast cancer! Pink ribbons! Want to hear more?

I didn’t think so.

One of the nice things about writing a blog on my own time, as opposed to for someone else, is that I don’t have to cover topics which have been more than adequately covered by plenty o’ other folk. I might cover them, if I am sufficiently moved to do so, but I don’t feel that I have to get a word in edgewise.

Okay, so that’s not exactly true: I do—often—feel the need to get in a word not only edgewise but front and center under a big ol’ spotlight. I want you know that I thought of this incredibly insightful profound provocative amazing idea and I want you to give a standing ovation to ME ME M-FUCKING-E ME!*

I am not pretty on the inside; I am a nine-year-old diva on the inside.

On the outside, however, I am a middle-aged broad who has learned, with some effort, to enjoy the freedom of not having to respond to everything all of the time. (Yes, I could link to that xkcd comic, but since you already know which one I’m talking about, well, there’s really no need, is there?) I may want a particular point to be made, but I no longer have to be the one to make it.

Doesn’t mean I don’t want to be, or that I don’t take a rather unseemly (for a middle-aged-broad) delight  in being the first to bang out the observation, but if someone else gets there before me, or better (or worse?) yet, says it in a manner more profound or pithier or funnier than I would have, well, I holster my hands and lean back.

Yeah, shit gets done and reputations made by folks who can’t help but elbow others to get in front, but as someone who used to go all-in every time, it’s kinda nice to hang back.

And, hey, if it also allows me to conserve my energy for those moments when I shriek BANZAIIII!!!! and leap into the fray, that’s just cake.

(*In homage to my friend M., who, twenty years ago, shouted this on a late-night downtown local train platform.)





All things weird and wonderful, 16+

3 02 2012

Rathke. Her name is Kathryn RATHKE—and you can find her here.

Last night, as I was shuffling through variations of KR—Kathy Radke, Radtke, Kathryn—I thought of “Rathke” but, for some reason, didn’t plug it in.

D’oh! I tried it this time, and her site came out on top of the search.

And how did I get Rathke? Because I pulled out some old Cardinal stuff  to try to find more examples of her work (and of John’s and Mark’s), and I saw the story “Researchers may be falsifying data” by Sue Rathke—the Shirley-Bassey-belting sister! (Hi Sue!)

(And, holy shit, there’s a piece by Anthony Shadid—“Revolution may be imminent in Colombia”—yeah, that Anthony Shadid. Decent article, but too bad about the shitty headline.)

Ahem. Here was one of Kathy’s pieces that I remember, perhaps because it accompanied my cover piece for a special women’s issue:

Kathy Rathke, 1987

Click on the piece to enlarge it, to really appreciate Kathy’s , er, Kathryn’s eye.

Oh! And here’s a bonus piece, from that same issue:

And here’s one from John, from 1986:

The muskrat has changed over the years—check the characters on the top right of this page.

(Sorry, John, if this isn’t your best piece—I still remember your women’s studies strips!—but it, uh, happened to have been on the back of one of the articles I wrote.)

And have I mentioned that John Keefe, who was the Boy Wonder Editor in the mid-late eighties, is now a news producer for WNYC?

Damn. Some mighty talented folk working back then. No wonder I kept them all in mind.

~~~

Still, my mind’s a bit wrecked by all of this.

One of the characters in my second novel observes that The past is a sketchy bitch, but here, now, rootching through those old Cardinal fragments, a quarter century disappears and the past comes rushing to me.

My life wasn’t great back then—self-destructive depression, anyone?—but in college the despair hadn’t yet eroded my enthusiasm, my yearning, for more.

All of those people, all of that talent, all of the beer and pizza and arguments and ferocity and pressure and anger and humor, all of that. . . love.

What luck once to have had it all, what sorrow to have lost it, what wonder to have found that more remains.





All things weird and wonderful, 16

3 02 2012

Joe's 5th Semi-Annual Beer Tasting Party!

I don’t even remember if I attended this event, but I loved the invite, by host/artist Kathy Radke.

At least, I think it’s Kathy Radke Rathke—I can’t remember if I got her name right. Anyway, she was a fucking amazing graphics artist for The Daily Cardinal, a small, blonde, impish woman on a graphics staff that was, hmm, yes I believe it was all men. She was the graphics editor for awhile, and the menfolk—I’m thinkin’ of John Kovalic and Mark Giaimo (on whom I had a huge crush, and who was so out of my league in every way), in particular—who liked to get chesty with one another and anyone else, all bowed before Kathy’s  fierce talent and sly dry wit.

Sly: yes, Kathy was sly. As political as the rest of us (the Cardinal, back in the day, always had a Marxist editor), she paid attention, and led with absurdity.

She was an inspiration.

One final memory: At my first Cardinal party Kathy’s younger sister and I got drunk and sang Shirley Bassey tunes, enjoying ourselves immensely crooning “GolllllllllllldddddddFINguh!”

So. I don’t know where Kathy is, but I hope she’s absurdly well.





Never seen this picture before

1 02 2012

It’s Philip Glass’s birthday today.

I went through a period in grad school where I listened to this cd every day. It was not a good period. Did the music make it better, or worse? Or did I just ride it through?

Anyway, I like Glass, but wouldn’t mention his birthday were it not also my birthday. I’m not as old as the composer, but I almost certainly have more days behind me than in front of me.

It’s odd: to think of one’s life as more than half over but also simultaneously to realize I’ve lived a long time and I’ve got a long stretch in front of me.

I turn around and look at my life and say sing-shout My god, what have I done? but I don’t ever think, wow, that was quick. It’s been a trek, a slog, a marathon, a sojourn—anything but a lark.

Perhaps that’s the one upside to living so much of my life down: I’ve felt so damned many jolts and jangles on my wayfaring through the days that looking ahead the end does not seem near; a bumpy path is a long one.

No guarantees, of course—Mayan apocalypse 2012!—but absent the end of the world or a Newt presidency (do I repeat myself?), well, as Emmylou sang, I’ve still got a ways to go.