We’re sailing on a strange sea

15 06 2015

A friend who I thought Had It All. . . doesn’t.

She’ll be okay—she’s the most resilient person I know—but the next few months will be rough for her, and it’s unclear what her life will look like once matters do clear.

I’ve been lucky with friends. My life doesn’t look much like theirs’, but it’s not an issue. Some are married, some own homes, some have kids, some are, like me, alone in a rental, but I’ve never gotten the sense from any of them that how I live is inferior to how they live.

I often think that I live an inferior life. I do compare myself to others, as well as to what I think I could have if-only, and I preface any invitations to visit with the warning I live like a graduate student. Almost 50, and I live like a graduate student.

But what I missed in seeing only my own shortfalls was that the Having It All can be a kind of front. Not a false-front, but the kind that seems sui generis—as if it just happened, and that there was no work, no struggle, no falling-short behind it all.

I think we are all so separate and our lives so distant, and in some ways, we are. But we’re also all just bobbing alongside one another in the wavy deep.

 

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4 responses

16 06 2015
dmf

indeed, also for me an open question of how trying to stay open to pursuing new activities/interests/work etc may undercut some depth of work/connection and even perhaps be a bit of my inability to accept the limits of what is possible, not quite greener pastures but…

16 06 2015
dmf
18 06 2015
absurdbeats

And on top of (or underneath) it all trying to figure what even is possible.

19 06 2015
dmf

sure and letting go of (not stewing in and or agonizing over) of what isn’t

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